Do you prefer Gin and Platonic or Scotch and Sofa?

This is for a platonic, outdoor chick to accompany on various camping, kayaking, and hiking trips. Applicants are encouraged to make up their own responses. Creativity, humor and references to criminal or sexual deviancy are encouraged and subject to a more favorable score. I first posted this in June, however position is still open. There are several spots available, so check the schedule on the right side of the blog and see if you're interested in adventure

1.) I comfortably climb
A. The stairs at the mall
B. 5.10 or below
C. 5.11 or above

2.) I would complain vocally if
A. I had a sunburn.
B. The incompetent lout at Starbucks made my mocha latte the wrong temperature.
C. Both my legs were broken.

3.) Pancakes and eggs are
A. Some kind of breakfast food.
B. One of the great pleasures in life.
C. I wouldn't know. I'm a vegan and only eat non-violently harvested soybeans.

4.) I would react to a non life-threatening injury of my friends by
A. Turning a funny color and passing out.
B. Rushing to his or her assistance with a first aid kit and the knowledge of how to apply.
C. Pointing and laughing.

5.) I am filling this out because
A. I fell off the jungle gym and wound up in here.
B. This keeps me from masturbating so much.
C. I like to endlessly tease Mike Blitch by crushing his hopes and fantasies like a kumquat.
D. I want to be the best damn token female camping chick I can be.

6.) I would describe my physical appearance as
A. I'm hot.
B. I clean up real good.
C. I can barely see through my dreadlocks and am currently eating cold refried beans out of a can with a stick. Soap weighs too many ounces.

7.) I would describe my mental stability as
A. I'm fairly level headed.
B. Unfuckwithable.
C. Sometimes I watch you sleep.
D. "It puts the lotion in the basket!!!"

8.) I am fearful of
A. Heights.
B. Unusually large chipmunks.
C. Absolutely nothing, you pansy

9.) My mental acuity would best be described with the phrase
A. What does acuity mean? My favorite color is clear.
B. I'm gonna go to tech school to be a welder.
C. I's smart enough to read this here sentence.
D. I have a Masters degree or Ph.D and can school you into the ground, bitch!

10.) As far as Paris Hilton goes
A. She is my role model.
B. I want to slap her with her dead rat dog.

11.) One of my most defining characteristics is
A. My sense of humor.
B. My ability to push past minor discomfort and focus on the trail.
C. My addiction to crystal meth.

12. The craziest thing I've ever done on a scale of 1-10 would be_________. If "1" were to equal you walking around all day at the mall and not finding anything that fits, and if 10 were to equal you being in a cage fight with a wildabeast while rabid wolves are gnawing on your armpits.

13. My friends would describe my personality as:
A. Bubbly and sometimes a little air headed
B. Fun and witty
C. A tourettic homicidal maniac diagnosed with advanced delusional schizophrenia and involuntary narcissistic rage.

14. When someone mentions "The Great Outdoors" the first thing that comes to your mind is:
A. "Do they take credit cards?"
B. "I hope the showers and toilets are clean...there aren't going to be bugs are there?"
C. "Camping, and having a GREAT time with the coolest Tampa hiker around!"

15. When it comes to drinking:
A. I only have a few...just enough to get a buzz and then I'm done.
B. I don't drink
C. Sometimes I wake up with puke all over my hair and rug burns on my knees.... thats about the time I notice that I'm in bed with 3 dudes, a chick, peanut butter everywhere, and I've got absolutely no clue where I'm at, My keys and purse are gone...and ironically so are my pants....Drinking rocks!

16. When it comes to cell phones I:
A. Had it surgically attached to my head
B. Answer it when it's someone important
C. Hate that godforsaken electronic object.
D. Just turn it on vibrate and write my number on all the bathroom stalls.

17. When it comes to drama...
A. My life is like a soap opera with a shiny smile
B. I hate my parents and the world. The army of darkness is upon us all.
C. Not too much...I try to stay away from it.

18. I make fun of fat people:
A. Only when it's necessary
B. Every chance I get
C. I would never make fun of an unlucky overweight individual.......(don't lie...fat people suck.)

19. When it comes to smoking...
A. I do sometimes when I'm drunk
B. I have a free motorcycle and bedroom set from Marlboro.
C. If I smoke it's probably because I was recently on fire.

20. My occupation is...
A. I am a goat herder.
B. I pay someone to take pictures of me and call myself a model.
C. I don't want to talk about my job.
D. Joe Redner is my sugar daddy.
E. Hurray student loans!

21. Clothing is
A. Recommended during business hours with a professional attitude while conveying comfort, and yet vitality, at evening events.
B. Used mainly to whisk away sweat and block UV rays.
C. Optional.

22. Children are
A. The joy of our lives and best hope for the future.
B. Able to carry 15% of their body weight in gear and food and heal quickly.

23. In terms of spontaneity, I
A. Keep an extra change of clothes in my car at all times
B. Need to check my calendar, ah yes, I can pencil you in for the afternoon of the 12th.
C. Give me 20 minutes and I'll be showered, packed, and already on the road. Tell me what we're doing later.

24. In terms of knowledge regarding nature I
A. Can mimic the mating call of the bald eagle
B. Can usually tell the difference between flora and fauna and categorize by Kingdom.
C. It either comes in a box, the frozen section, or in the produce section of Publix.
D. Hey look, a cute little bear cub, let's go get a closer picture. Hmm, where's mommy?

25. My navigation abilities would best be described as
A. I get calls from Garmin and Magellan looking for insight.
B. Know for sure the direction I'm heading just by looking at the sun in the early morning or late afternoon.
C. On Star!! Help!!

Good teaching is 1/4 preparation and 3/4 theater.

I was at work yesterday trying to finish up some projects and get the place organized when I get a sudden whim to go out and do something that I had not experienced in a while. After taking a look at the local happenings on the TBT website, I decided to go check out the American Stage Theater Company's production of "All the Great Book (Abridged)". The basic premise was that th audience is in a remedial literature class so they can pass the requirements necessary to graduate, which is in about 2 hours. The coach, drama teacher, and a student teacher thereby cover 89 classic books in this time period into what turns out to be a very funny performance. I had seen the same company in only a single previous performance a little over a year and a half ago. About 30 minutes before the show there are rush tickets available at half price, so I arrived about 15 minutes before show time and was able to get a great seat in the third row. I thought the performance was well done and really enjoyed the show and am looking forward to attending others in the future at not only American Stage, but also MAD Theater, Gorilla Theater, the Carrollwood Players and other production companies in the area.

Trains charge those going to rock concerts, said Tom with fanfare.

Nearly on a whim today, I decided to join a couple of friends and check out the Aerosmith/Motley Crue concert at the Amphitheater at the State Fairgrounds. I had seen them in concert previously, so I wasn't about to spend much money and figured I would either get last minute tickets really cheap or not attend. fortunately, not too long after getting there I was able to find someone selling a ticket for $20, which was a good deal considering they were sold at the box office for $40. I took over the grill and cooked up some chicken and corn and had enough for the friends when they arrived. We hung out for a little while enjoying sangria and were able to get a ticket for each of them for $25, so in all, we were able to get what we needed without having to even get out of the camp chairs.

The concert itself was ok, though Aerosmith didn't play the one song I was really hoping to hear 'Don't Want to Miss a Thing'. Both bands went through a fair amount of their well known catalog. Though it was decently cold, it was clear and a pretty fun experience. My friends left early, though I decided to hang around. I've always had a problem leaving a concert, game, or other event early since I figured I might as well get my money's worth. As my standard practice now, I just hung around reading for an hour while the traffic died down instead of wasting time and gas idling in a line of cars.

Skate softly and carry a big tire iron - Women's Figure Skating Motto

I was suppose to go camping Saturday night, but when I got back from the Orlando party, and after noticing the cold weather forecast, I decided to stay in Tampa. I was checking the local happenings website and noticed that a double-header for the roller derby league was going to be playing. The Tampa Bay Derby Darlins have been playing for only a couple months, but apparently they are already pretty good. I really knew nothing of roller derby other than the few matches I think I saw during the time of American Gladiator oh so long ago. It took a little while to figure out what was going on, but after that it did seem to be a bit more fun. There was a decent local band between the two games, but my body started crashing early, so I decided to take off after the first half of the last game. I thought it was something a bit different to check out and am glad I want, but not sure if I'll end up being much of a spectator in the future.

Friday night I crashed your party. Saturday I said I'm sorry.

Friday night was the annual party that Mammaries of Orlando puts on for the birthdays of a few friends. She goes all out for the party and gets 3-4 people to cater it and spends about 2k in food and another 1k in booze with her place getting stocked better than some small store. Kiddie, VC and I headed over after work Friday and had planned to stay the night, an honor bestowed to the Tampa folks for a while now. When we arrived, there were already plenty of people mingling around. A lot of people were coming in an out throughout the evening, so it stay pretty busy. It didn't take too for us to get a game of tippy-cup going until the keg was floating. I originally thought it was a party for herself aas well as others, so besides the card, I got her a gift. Last weekend Mams was telling us how tired she was of noodles and rice since that was pretty much all they had to eat during the trip. Thinking that she might really be missing them, I got her a couple of packages of Oriental Ramen noodles. Even though she lobbed one at my head upon opening them, I think she really liked it.

The food was phenomenal with all kinds of goods being made available. There were wings, fondue, salads, cakes, beef, fruit, and so many other items. Everything was set for a great party, rocking hot tub, warm pool, etc. While the party was going, Mams had pics from her recent Asia trip playing on the big screen and would tell us various stories of things that were going on. I was still a bit tired from the heavy tailgating at the Buffet concert, but somehow I managed to stay up until 3:30AM. Even when going to bed someone yelled out, 'hey, how about a couple of shots before sleep?'. On the lights came and someone scurried off to get some glasses and nameless concoction. When we finally got up in the morning, few people were wanting to move, so the most we did for a little while were mix Bloody Mary drinks and rehash old hash stories, including ones from the evening before.

Here are some of the pictures I took of the event: http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=vnlbugz.bou49h8j&x=0&y=34d4dz

In a concert you just have to face the music.

The concert last night was a lot of fun. I ended up getting to the fairgrounds parking at around 3:30 and the place was already packed. I lucked out in that I was directed to park right next to the entrance, so it made things a lot easier when folks were attempting to locate us through the evening. Apparently the parking opened a couple of hours early (around noon) since there were already a 100 or so cars parked on the highway. I didn't have a chance to really wander too long, but there was tailgating goodness as far as I could see. There had to be a massive amount of food and beverage consumed. I brought out the propane grill and cooked up some turkey sausage and chicken while boiling the corn on the stove. I got to play with my new hand crank blender and it worked great. How can you tailgate at a buffet concert and not have real margaritas? Throughout the evening a bunch of hashers showed up (Slim Prickins, Dances with Dildos, Hops on Pops (and some other Gainesville hashers), BallChecker, Cockblock, Battery Motivated Wench, Kitty Litter, Dabadoo, Hops Her Barley, Smelley, Ben Gay, and other various friends of friends. Corey was awesome in that he went into the amphitheater a couple of hours early and secure some prime real estate on the lawn for the whole group so that we could hang out at the camper until just before show started.

There was no opening act for the show that started around 8. The concert was very lively and most of the major songs, at least any that I know, seemed to have been covered. With the break half-way through, the music ended just before 11 o'clock. We leisurely made our way back to the trailer and reset the chairs to hang around while the traffic dies down. I didn't want to waste time idling and figure it is just best to relax a bit after the events until the cops kick us out about 90 minutes later. For whatever reason, a couple of us decided to go down to Ybor and close down the Green Iguana until about 3. I got up in the morning, did a few projects in the garage, and now have to pack for an overnight trip to Orlando for a birthday party before coming back to hit Fort De Soto Saturday night. The weather is turning out great right now and is a perfect time to spend outdoors.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

I'll be going to the Buffet concert with a bunch of friends on Thursday. Most of us are taking a half day from work and will be heading to the parking lot around 4 o'clock (if not earlier) for some tailgating goodness.

I'm sure there are a bunch of Tampa friends going as well, so you are all invited to run by and say hello. You are welcome to bring any food you want to throw on the grill or join us in margaritas, daquries, or other different kinds of golden nectar. In the least bring a chair and share in what we'll have.

I'll be taking the blender, grill, stove, awning, and other necessities. I am going to try to see if I can park near the high voltage power line tower closest to I-4 (on the north side) as a rally point. If you come out, look for the silver Nissan Xterra with the small 4x8 silver teardrop camper attached. I'll probably also be flying my green 'Hash House Harriers' flag if I remember to pack it.

Give me a call if you happen to be by and cannot find us.

In a mad world, only greater madness succeeds.

Definitely check out this animation. I saw this and feel that the message is kind of tearing me up. What a way to start a Monday, eh?

Would you take the chance, for one moment, so that you could have the one thing you've ever wanted, thereby dying with no regrets? Would you trade your life for one chance, just one chance, to feel free, to know you'll never be happier?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdUUx5FdySs

If you really want to be moved, then try listening to it with Gary Jules version of 'Mad World' that was on the Donnie Darko soundtrack a few years and is currently being used in the 'Gears of War' video game commercial. The music video for 'Mad World' can be found here.

I'd rather be over the hill than under it!

Sunday morning I, along with three other Tampa locals, headed to Mt. Dora (a bit NW of Orlando) for a weekend hash campout. The annual Hill Country Hash is held in PatchWorkQuilt's backyard and usually sees attendees from most of the local groups. I took the teardrop camper and after a late start, got there a little after noon. We set the tents and such and hung around for a little while to wait for the trail to start. We were trucked over to the hash start where we mingled for a while before getting the information from the hare and all (probably about 50+ people there) packed into various trucks and cars to be hauled to an Irish pub that would serve as the start. It took us quite a while to get there and many of the runners were getting nervous as to how far we were traveling, assuming the end was back at the camping area at the house. After a few drinks at the bar, the runners headed over to the park across the street to the docks to be picked up by some boats and ferried over to one end of the massive water body (Lake Dora I think). As soon as we got to land we took off after the hare.

The tail is one of the best that I've done. there was a great mix of terrain from well kept nature trails to fields of short (and prickly) brush and numerous fire lanes. There were checks all over the place, so the front runners were kept busy trying to solve all the intersections. I'm pretty sure that we did 4-5 miles (of true trail) at least before the trail ended just at the waters edge. Apparently the front runner just missed the hare by about 30 seconds as an escape was made on a boat driven by Shellshock. We had to wait for some of the other boats to come pack us in, but fortunately a stash of beer was left for the pack! The boats just took us over to another shore spot where we had to bail a few feet from shore and take off again. There were still more checks and such to do, but somehow I lucked out at an intersection and decided to head in a direction that was different than what the 1-2 people in front of me guessed. I found a true trail marker and kept on going until the end that was the home of a hasher that had passed away last year. I was the Front Runner and came to a backyard full of walkers that were milling around and chatting and I got to even goof around on one of the backyard swings. Apparently a lot more people showed up after the runners had left and I got to see a bunch of folks that I hadn't spoken to in months. It was finally getting late, so we loaded up in the boats one last time for a decently long ride to yet another dock and more trail. Fortunately this trail was pretty well marked and didn't have any checks since it was already after sunset and no one had a light (since we had been running since about 4). The trail ended up at yet another house where a meal of two slow-roasted pigs, chicken, and oysters were waiting. We hung around for quite a while chowing down and ended off with a pretty good circle and even a naming for the evening. One major highlight was Moth's off-road adventure. He was taking small groups of folks in his Isuzu vehicle on some insane jungle tours. We were driving at break-neck speeds through the woods with no set path and were literally plowing down many good sized trees, fences, and brush. This was an open backed vehicle and there were leaves, sticks, and vines flying everywhere. We only got stuck once and had to rock the vehicle off a log, but otherwise it was a blast. I was definitely glad to get back from the scary, yet exhilarating ride.

The rest of the night was spent just getting cleaned up and lounging around drinking and such. Though a decent group left for a while to go to a local bar, but the day's adventures were really wearing on me, so I crawled into bed relatively early. In the morning we heading to a local breakfast place (Orange Blossom Cafe?) for a decent meal. The rest of the day consisted of pretty much my favorite part of such campouts, the sitting around and telling of stories. ThanksForTheMammaries had just gotten back from a three week trip to Asia (for the World Interhash event in Thailand) and had a lot of awesome stories of the various adventure. I definitely need to find a way to start doing more world traveling like this and hope to some day experience some of these kinds of things. Except for breakfast and gas, the whole weekend cost only $10 and was a great time! As usual, I took a couple of photos and posted them here:

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=vnlbugz.29mjvhqb&x=0&y=ew7usy

Culture is the arts elevated to a set of beliefs.

At the urging of a more culturally-enhanced friend, with whom I had not spoken in a while, I decided to check out the Gala Corina local art display. This has been going on for about 8 years where local artists, seeking to use another medium instead of traditional art galleries, display some of their works. At the opening night event there was a fashion show, silent auction, DJs, free wine samplers, and even a live band. I was extremely impressed by the whole event since it was put on entirely by the community with only a $5 donation requested. There were about 140 different artists that used every kind of media that I could imagine and even a few materials that I did not think possible. I spent most of the time browsing among the different works and taking in it all.

After the fashion show was finished a live band set up. Lounge Cat was an incredible swing-style group with a lot of use of brass and played not only some great swing tunes but also covers of well know songs with a swing flair. I was really impressed with the show and recognized some of the dancers on the floor from some of the Sunday night swing dancing at the Zendah Grotto. I'm definitely going to plan to check out the band more often whenever I get an opportunity and hope to find more music like this in the Tampa area. I am very glad I went and hope to run by again this coming week before they close next Friday so I can get a chance to take a better look at the various works.

When regard for truth has been broken down or even slightly weakened, all things will remain doubtful. - St Augustine

This weekend was spent on a little road trip. Two of the Tampa runners were getting married (to each other even!) in St. Augustine on a weekend which happened to coincide with the annual pub crawl held in the city. I have been there a couple of times before and have always enjoyed the area, especially the beaches and old fort. I've also been dying to really try out the teardrop camper I picked up a few months ago and decided to take it with me, especially since the hostel was all booked up by other runners and folks that were with the wedding party. I got a late start on Friday since I had to run a bunch of errands to do.

After arriving, I found a place to park, put together my bike, and found the place folks were meeting. Most of the people there were wedding party members milling about and dancing. We hit a couple of different spots such as Tradewinds Tavern, the local VFW, and St. George Tavern. After shutting down the last bar those still standing grabbed a couple of slices of pizza before heading to the hostel. Apparently some folks were asleep, however we soon took care of that little issue. I didn't want to hang for too long and soon left to to ride over to where I was parked, throw the bike into the truck, and crawl in for a nice rest.

When I got up in the morning, I decided to bike around the city for a while to take in some of the nicer areas. I first hit the old Spanish fort, Castillo de San Marcos, since the National Park Pass that I got for the California trip allowed me free access. As I was going in, I happened to run into a couple of Tampa hashers and watched the cannon firing demonstration with them for a while before starting to head off again. The reenactment is done several times a day by local volunteers that give up their time to help teach visitors about the fort's history. I then did a quick ride to the Mission of Nombre de Dios that is readily noticeably by the 200+ foot steel cross looking over the city. This is a site of some beautifully maintained grounds and holds the Shrine of Our Lady of La Leche. After reflecting here for a while I checked out some of the numerous art galleries and gift shops that make up much of the downtown area.

Around one o'clock I loaded up and drove across the bridge to Anastacia Island to where the pub crawl would start. Using the camper kitchenette I made a couple of sandwiches while taking the time to relax a bit and enjoy the weather (which was considerable warmer than the previous evening). Much of the rest of the day was a lot of fun as I met and chatted with new folks and even ran into some friends that I wasn't expecting to see! We hit numerous pubs including The British Pub, Nubby's Sports Bar, Santa Maria Restaurant, Tradewinds Tavern, VFW, Milltop Tavern (good live music), St. George Tavern, and another bar or two of which I cannot remember the names. At the last bar the wedding party (or those still moving) caught up with us and livened things up a little bit, however it was already pretty late and people were dropping out.

I caught a ride back to where my car was and followed some folks to the Anastasia Island State Park since they already had a spot reserved. After getting cleaned up, I quickly crawled into the camper (being very thankful for not having to set up anything) and quickly crashed. In the morning I made some portabella mushroom sandwiches and elected to stay at the park while the others took off for breakfast and home. The park offered several hiking trails, including an ancients dunes interpretive trail that provide info on the local flora as it looped around for a couple of miles. I then headed to the beach and rode the bike one a 7-8 mile round trip to go around to the inlet so I could get some shots of the approach to the fort and enjoy a nice bit of peddling. After making a quick lunch, and getting stopped a couple of times by people wanting to check out the camper, I took a last stroll in the park along the old Spanish quarry and made a quick stop at the St. Augustine Light Station for some photos, though I didn't have time to climb to the top.

Overall it was a great weekend and a nice way to not only hang out with some old and new friends, but also take in the sites and enjoy some of the Florida resources.