Oh man, do I hurt.

The weather has been great recently, so a few buddies and I planned a kayaking trip to the Everglades for this weekend. Jon (Insane Clown), having just come back from a Mexico caving expedition this week, planned and executed a lot of the logistics. He and his wife Karen have done probably 20-30 trips in the area of the years. He, Dave (Service), and Jason (Caught from Behind) and I drove down to Naples Friday night to meet up with Tom (HighBalls) who is the General Manager of the Naples Hash House Harriers. They were all cool enough to move their regular Saturday hash up a day so we could join them. Porcelina, Turf, and Queen were the hares for a 'Redhead, Blond, and Brunette Hash'. At each of the stops they had special beer (Killians Red, Amberbock, etc) to represent the colors. Trail was good with a little bit of a death march in a few spots and some decent shiggy. We had the ending circle in a small wooded area off the main road. When we were about done, we saw a cop car pass by and slow down. He made a U-Turn and had to pass by in the other direction across the median and then do another U-turn. We watched with a little amusement as he tried to figure out how to get off the road. We cleaned up the area and just stayed in circle while this was happening, so no one was worried. He finally parked a little way away and walked over to where we were and asked what we were doing, at which time we simply stated we were a running club and just finishing our run. He asked us then if we had seen a guy run by wearing a white tank top. Without a second of hesitation, the entire pack pointed out Rear Ender (a visiting hasher from Cincinnati) since he was wearing a white tank top and had recently been running. The cop just gave us a funny look and elaborated that the guy for whom he was search had on black jeans and handcuffs; apparently admitting to have somehow losing a suspect. After realizing that such a person probably wouldn't be hiding among a group of sweaty runners he left. The pack then went to the On-After, a bar at the bowling place next door called Nemo's.

Now knowing that we intended to be up by 7 to make our way to the park, the group decided to do some more drinking and karokee. When I taught my dive classes I remember how hard it was to get up, so after one drink, I was done and ready to go, but apparently that wasn't to be. At some point another hasher inquired as to the sanity of being up late, upon which Service states "I don't know about these guys, but all I need is a couple of hours, after all, I'm an athlete". At some point someone thought it was a good idea to start ordering some Yeager Bombs, I had no intention of going down in flames (and was smart enough to have stopped drinking for several hours by this point) I went back to the truck to crash. They finally stumbled out (HB was the only one smart enough to have bailed hours before) and we went to Turf Tit's (Liz) place a half mile down the road where they apparently wanted to get into a game of '3 Man'. The wake up and motivation to get started went about as you would expect, and I think we got headed towards the grocery store by 11AM.

The guys finally got food (steaks, chips, etc) and we headed to Everglades City. Since we got there a little more late than planned, the permits for the close islands were long gone, so we had to head to Lulu Key. The weather report hinted that winds would be up and to expect 2-4 foot seas, but it wasn't that bad with a plus of whatever wind we had being on our backs the entire way. Neither Service nor HighBalls had ever been kayaking, so ICP gave them a 2 minute course in what a paddle was, where to hold it, and how to move the arms, all while being watched by a kayak/canoe instructor that just finished an several hour long formal class for his group, complete with dry runs on the field. Here we come with a few bottle of booze, drag the gear to the water, and still cover more distance. "Hold here ... wave your arms ... try to get the paddle into the water each time ... and don't lean too far over. Let's go."

We packed up and shoved off for the 9.4 mile paddle and made it to the island in about 2.5 hours. Apparently when getting the stuff organized the question of who had the steaks came up. A search of the kayaks turned up nothing other than some breakfast bars, rum, corn, and several bags of chips. Apparently on these kinds of trips personal property become communal as the food I brought from Tampa [assuming people would have already gotten their food before leaving home] (ham, turkey bacon, eggbeaters, MY two marinated steaks, and potatos) were being hungrily eyed.

Umm, where is it written that I have to feed your hungover ass?

Once the fire coals were ready, I wrapped everything in foil and threw them in. It was like the Irish potato famine as we devoured the garnish-less balls of carbohydrates and corn whenever they were done. I eventually threw on my steaks and, after much knuckle burning, got them fixed up. Though there wasn't a lot, we were decently satisfied. In the morning (after discovering the remnants of the bag of bread in the woods from the raccoon ninja bandits that swept through during the night) we cooked up the eggs, turkey bacon, and the leftover potatos while Service tried to scar me with boiling coffee juice from the filter. What part of "It is easier to hold on the ground while easing the plunger" he interperterd as "hold in the air and just give it a swift push", I'll never know. We tore down the tents, policed the area of any trash, buried the fire pit, and finally shoved off around 10:30AM.

Apparently the weather report was accurate this time as the wind had really picked up. The open bays really sucked as the bow crashed through the waves with the wind blowing right at us. We didn't get back to the truck until 3 o'clock since our speed was cut down by more than a 1/3. We finally got to HighBalls place and while I took a quick shower and crashed for an hour or so, the guys cooked the steaks (found in the back of the truck) and remaining potatos. I forgot to put sun block on my feet and now (since I was on an open kayak) have beet red tootsies. I'm thinking of filling the tub with aloe and soaking tomorrow. My fingers ache from gripping the paddle and I'm sure my shoulders are going to start complaining in the morning when I go to work. I still have to wash all my gear, clean out the truck, and put everything back up.

Damn, that was fun.

Update: Jon added some picture to his website. http://hashflash.com/barebuns.htm
Just navigate to the Jan06 pics.